Tuesday, April 3, 2007

I'm not aware of too many things
I know what I know, if you know what I mean.
Philosophy is the writing on a cereal box,
Religion is the smile on a dog's face.
I'm not aware of too many things.
I know what I know, if you know what I mean.


I can't say I know what I mean,
But the graffiti off the wall depicts my arcane existence.
Messed up, like my food supply had dried up.


I'm not aware of too many things.
I know what I know, if you know what I mean.
Philosophy is the wind blowing a harbinger in the willows.
Religion is a walk on slippery rocks.
I'm not aware of too many things.
I know what I know, if you know what I mean.

Saturday, March 31, 2007

This past week has given me an insight into the baseness of Ugandan society, especially in the regards of news worthy events. Cases in point, let’s look at events as I would have reported them.
i) There was a nuclear stand off in the Middle East, with the Iranian president canceling his trip overseas. You gotta love this guy, not one to back down all because the mighty US says so. (One for you 27th).
ii) The Keep Kasese Kaveera Free campaign had a stillbirth. Apparently, some bigwig forgot to sign off on the budget for the project. I know it’s totally expected in Africa and hence shouldn’t be a news worthy event, but in this year of CHOGM, you can’t blame one for hoping against hope….
iii) A couple of rogue MPs (Movement) took a stand different from the other sycophants, causing a lot of kavuyo in Parliament. Undue, if you ask me. I mean, so an MP actually grew a brain. Big deal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s about time they began to follow their own line, instead of chorusing like kindergarten kids whenever Mzee says so. Party positions my arse!!!!!!!!!!
iv) The Inspector General of Police passed out a brigade of anti-smuggling police, with orders to uphold the sovereignty of Uganda, blah blah blah. Best part is he gave them orders to shoot to kill whoever was trying to compromise the economy of Uganda. Now that’s more like it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Plus tons of other events that got shunted to inners annals of our country’s leading dailies. Instead, the major news event was the wrap up of the lousiest soap ever screened on Ugandan airwaves. La mujer de mi vida, loosely translated, the woman of my life. I mean seriously, really is this what it has come to? The end of a soap merits more mention than a possible nuclear holocaust in the oil rich Middle East? A Government initiative gone bad? An impending mutiny in the ruling caucus of parliament? A return to Wild West rules? And you mean to tell me just because the major gossip fodder is over that it merits a front page berth? PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! Quite frankly, I’m glad it’s over. Now we can get on with our lives! I’ve always wondered why people watch soaps anyway. If you seen one, you’ve seen them all. All soaps have a basic formula.
i) There’s always a wealthy family loathed by everyone else in society. This family normally calls the shots in the community, probably has a police chief or a local politician in their pocket.
ii) A poor person normally marries into this family, much to the chagrin of the family members, more especially the matriarch of this family.
iii) There’s always a love triangle somewhere in this family, probably in the name of raising the suspense. Baseless, if you ask me.
iv) There has to be goody-two-shoes, who gets laden with everyone else’s secrets. However, they end up having the darkest secret of all………
v) You gotta have a scheming bitch trying to break up some couple, yet fronting like she’s their closest friend.
vi) Kill off someone, then bring them back to life later on to avenge their ‘death’.
vii) Frame someone for murder, preferably the leading lady, while making it glaringly obvious to the viewers, but not to the nitwits who reside in the community.
All things constant, maybe it deserved a front page mention. This program single handedly accounted for most of the university breakups. I mean, how macho would your boyfriend be if he can’t come over for cell because he’s linking up with his boys to watch Barbarita? And just when you need to get off, Kyane can’t arrive coz there’s a Barbarita marathon this weekend and she has to catch up coz most off her friends gave her sketchy details and she needs to see that kiss for herself. Ain’t life a bitch? (I’m sure 27th can relate to this)
Gotta run, things to see, people to do.
Song on repeat: Todii by Oliver Mtukudzi.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

The Dawning.

So, blogging is an active daily habit. It beats me how one person(here after called the blogger) has something to say each and every other day. Mark you, without a script. Bear with me now, before the entire blogger association of uganda goes up in arms against me, hear me out. This can only mean one of three things.

a)Bloggers actually do have stuff that happens to them every day, and I mean real stuff, not your usual "can't find my socks" stuff. I'm talking real stuff. Earth-shattering, cataclysmic, spiritual enhancing stuff. (and I'm not talking orgasms now, this is a family show........). They probably tabled a resolution that led to an emergency session of the U.N. to decide an appropriate course of action to deal with the impending doom of global warming by cutting emission of greenhouse gases, Tokyo Protocol not withstanding.
b)Bloggers are habitual liars and should be purged. How dare they use an otherwise noble institution to advance their own sinister motives? I ought to....... Maybe if I ever get a chance to do some cyber ass-kicking, you will definitely be down for some straightening out. Or as Joshi would put it, KIBOKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anywho, this whole blogger thing is probably an acquired taste. Kind of like millet bread a.k.a kalo, or sushi, for the benefit of those tuning in from the Orient. Let's see how this goes.


P.s. To the 27th Comrade, you have definitely got to get laid. Kikoni can't be that devoid of harlots. Besides, nikiwuliza ati mamanze wa Nairobi wanna penda sana ku saidiana..... If you get my drift.

For now, I think I'll crawl back under my rock and have me a nice patch of moss.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The beginning....... of the end.

Who would have thought it? I've been getting pressure from all quarters to start a blog. Like I have nothing better to do with my time! Posting my thoughts and inner intimacies for total strangers to peruse, do you have any idea of the freaks and sick bastards you'll find online?(Case in point, that last bastion of communism, the 27thcomrade). Then again, here I am, blogging. Who's the dummy now?
Anywho, I've always had an issue with putting my thoughts down. Something about being a great talker. The actual tangibility of my thoughts makes all too obvious to my condition i.e. messed up, like my food supply had dried up. Darlyn says it's therapeutic, if you can see it, you can treat it.
That's it for now. If you see me heading to the edge, push me over. It can't be that far down after all...........................